Regardless of one’s age or condition, moving to a retirement home is a big life change. When a person is considering a residence for a loved one, finding a suitable way to approach the topic is not always easy.
As senior housing specialists in finding private retirement homes for seniors, the Bonjour Résidences team is regularly approached for assistance with this type of situation. Here are some tips and recommendations from our advisers on how to discuss the subject of retirement homes with your loved ones.
Understanding Your Parents Needs and Concerns
The thought of moving to a senior citizen's residence can raise both concerns and reluctance. This is why it is important to take the time to gently approach the issue. This will allow you to respect your parent's pace and keep the conversation open.
Before talking about it, we recommend that you do some research on the retirement homes that are available. Once you are familiar with the various options, you can show them to your parents in due course.
What I have noticed on several occasions is when the elderly person is not ready, if their child or close relative presents several residences in a pleasant manner, that makes them more inclined to agree to retirement home living. If the family already has a lot of information and is well prepared to suggest residences, the senior is more likely to agree to visit.
Virginie
Senior Housing Specialist
To avoid making an uncomfortable decision, start by opening up the discussion by asking your parents about their needs and desires for the future. This will also be an opportunity to share your own concerns.
For instance, you may be concerned that you cannot provide them with proper care in the event that they lose autonomy. It is important that you mention this to your loved ones in order to come up with possible solutions to these concerns together. Also take the time to reassure them that you are simply concerned about their well-being and happiness.
Thanks to a successful first conversation, you could include your parents in the decision making process which will allow them to slowly and confidently transition.
Taking the Next Steps at Your Own Pace
It is normal to face hesitation when it comes to preparing to move into a private retirement home. This is why we consider that the person should take their time in making their decision and explore the options that are available to them.
To prepare for this transition, start by explaining the benefits of living in a retirement home!
My approach is this: I tell their children to emphasize the benefits of living in a retirement home. For example :
“We will be able to visit you more often, because you will be closer to us. You will also see your grandchildren more often. They are growing up so fast!”
“You will be able to eat better meals more regularly, enjoy outdoor and indoor spaces, and socialize with more people.”
Speak to your concerns: for instance “We would be more at peace knowing you were safe and protected” (mentioning 24hr security services, on-site nursing care, etc.)
Talk about the activities that the person enjoys and that are available in this residence ... Music, painting workshop, gardening, etc.
Marie Chantale
Senior Housing Specialist
A Decision to Prepare For
As much as possible, we recommend that you plan this transition in advance. Indeed, it is more difficult to find a suitable residence at the last minute. By beginning your research ahead of time, you will have more choices. In addition, you will be able to better identify your preferences and the needs of your parents.
Preparing upstream also allows you to anticipate a potential loss of autonomy. If your loved ones do not feel comfortable or able to come to the aid of a parent, preparing to live in a senior’s residence will be a reassuring alternative.
If someone with a slight loss of autonomy moves into a semi-autonomous senior’s retirement home before a significant loss of autonomy, or a fall that causes them to suddenly move from the house to a CHSLD, we thus avoid a drastic shock. Going from an entire house to just one bedroom can be difficult for the parent. So, progressively getting them accustomed to the changes, while monitoring their loss of autonomy, can only be a good thing for the senior’s adaptation.
For instance, start with a 2 bedroom apartment in an autonomous residence. Then, slowly reduce the size of the accommodation. For example, if there is a necessity for a kitchen. Then, when there is a loss of autonomy, you can go a bedroom only ... Ideally, it is better to prevent than to cure, especially when talking about our loved ones!
Vickyanne
Business Development Representative
In addition, it is easier to join a residence as an independent senior. Staff will get to know your relatives and bond with them. When the first signs of loss of autonomy appear, the retirement home will be more inclined to help them with the care and services adapted to their situation.
In some cases, a residence can no longer provide the appropriate care for your parents (sudden and significant loss of autonomy, for instance). However, the transition can be made more simply if they have already been living in a residence. They can send the file to their next place of residence, which will administer the appropriate care.
Note that in the event of a change of residence for medical reasons, it is possible to terminate your lease with two months' notice.
Throughout your preparation, you will be able to discuss the best options with your parents and then plan visits to see the residences that interest you.
Properly Choosing One’s Retirement Home: Factors to Consider
When you start looking for a residence for your parents, come together to discuss the essential needs according to different criteria:
- Type of retirement home : housing for independent and semi-autonomous retirees, long-term care, etc.
- Size of the unit : studio, 2 ½, 3 ½, 4 ½ or a single room.
- Activities : Socialization is essential to maintain cognitive activity, memory and physical fitness. Many activities are offered in residence with free participation. This helps to combat the isolation of the elderly and its long-term impacts.
- Services : Are meals, cleaning, activities included in the rent or offered by the residence?
- Security and health care services : Are there facilities, equipment and health professionals available on site? For what levels of care and conditions?
- Budget : is the rent adequate for my finances?
- Location: note that some residences are sometimes further away, but the services may be better suited to the person.
So as not to rush your loved one, we can guide them into thinking about what services or care they would like to have to alleviate their worries. To help them see retirement homes as a luxury and a treat. We also give people the power to make decisions themselves.
For example, if they are in housing and begin to find it difficult to cook for themselves, we can start offering them meals on wheels, and gradually integrate services from the CLSC at home until it is no longer possible to stay at home.
Vickyanne
Business Development Representative
On the Bonjour Résidences website, you can get to know some of the residences and retirement homes and select your criteria to find the locations that would best suit your parents.
Bonjour Résidences: A Personalized Accompaniment Service to Help You Find the Ideal Retirement Home
Depending on the region, budget, condition or personal preferences of you and your loved ones, many residences could be considered as the next place for your parents to live. To guide you in your research, our advisers will be happy to help you!
With years of experience supporting families and seniors, our team is made up of dedicated, dynamic mothers who listen to your needs. In addition, our services are completely free for families who want support in their research, without pressure or commitment!
Whether you want to explore your options, obtain information or find accommodation for your parents, the Bonjour Résidences team will be able to assist you. Apply for housing online or contact us at 1 844 918-1020 to chat with one of our senior housing Specialists!
